EVIL KANSAS EPISODE -- "MELODY VS THE INFINITE STALKERS"

               By Stephen Deaver and Joshua Efron

               Based on a dream by Andrea Deaver



               INT. BUDIG CLASSROOM - DAY

               Students sit in a large classroom, listening to the PROFESSOR
               INTRON lecture and draw complex diagrams on the chalkboard.

                                   PROFESSOR INTRON
                         ... and thus, you can see that
                         wormholes create a host of logical
                         paradoxes that make their existence
                         very unlikely.

               In the front row sits ALEXANDRA, who draws an elaborate and
               beautiful DESIGN in her NOTEBOOK.

               The Professor notices that she isn't paying attention and
               moves toward her.

                                   PROFESSOR INTRON
                         And here we have a student whose
                         lack of attention makes her
                         continued existence in this class
                         very unlikely.

               A couple of far-off snickers.  Alexandra doesn't even look up
               from her drawing.

                                   ALEXANDRA
                         And what a tragedy that would be.

               Professor Intron drops his voice to a harsh whisper.

                                   PROFESSOR INTRON
                         I'm serious young lady.  Learn to
                         show some respect, or -

                                   ALEXANDRA
                         I'm quite capable of learning this
                         material on my own, from the
                         textbooks.  My presence here serves
                         no purpose ... other than to
                         satisfy your academic ego.

               Professor Intron gets very red.  He takes a deep breath.

                                   PROFESSOR INTRON
                         How dare you -

               Alexandra finishes drawing her strange design, then taps the
               notebook authoritatively with her palm.

               Suddenly, a fire alarm springs to life.

               Professor Intron has a bewildered look.  He scans the room,
               then shoots a frustrated look at Alexandra.

                                   ALEXANDRA
                         Hmm.  Saved by the bell.

               Alexandra slides out of her seat and saunters off.

               As the students get up and file out of class slowly, we move
               over to see MELODY sitting alone, absorbed in what she is
               writing, oblivious to her surroundings.

               On closer inspection, she is writing the notes and lyrics to
               a SONG.  She puts a touch on one of the notes.

                                   STALKER
                         There it is.  Amazing.

               Melody looks up, startled.  Standing behind her is a
               strangely dressed, dark young man.

                                   MELODY
                         Excuse me?

                                   STALKER
                         You've just written down the last
                         note.  I saw it ... I've just
                         witnessed the completion of one of
                         the greatest songs ever written.

               Melody is very startled and flustered.

                                   MELODY
                         I appreciate the compliment -
                         whoever you are - but I just came
                         up with it.  You haven't even heard
                         it ... no one has, not even me. 
                         You must be thinking of another
                         song.

                                   STALKER
                         There is no other.  You're so
                         modest, it's unbelievable.  I never
                         thought in a million years I'd get
                         the chance to meet ...

               The Stalker starts to tear up.

                                   STALKER
                         It was all worth it.  Thank you so
                         much, Melody.  You've given a gift
                         to the world ... and to me. 
                         Goodbye.

               The very strange Stalker walks away.  Melody just sits for
               bit, dazzled.

                                   MELODY
                         That certainly was strange.

               She puts her things in her bag and leaves.



               EXT. CAMPUS - DAY

               Melody is walking between Budig and the Architecture
               building.  Suddenly someone comes up behind her.  Once again,
               it's the STALKER.

                                   STALKER ONE
                         Oh my god!  I finally found you! 
                         How exciting!

               Melody turns around, a little confused.

                                   MELODY
                         Oh, it's you again.

               The Stalker gasps.

                                   STALKER ONE
                         You're talking to me!  I never
                         dreamed I'd get this chance!

                                   MELODY
                         What is it exactly that you want?

               The stalker hands her a BOOK of some kind.

                                   STALKER ONE
                         Would you sign this for me?

               Melody just stares, totally confused.

                                   STALKER TWO
                         There you are.

               Melody gasps and turns around, only to see ANOTHER STALKER,
               who looks exactly like the first.  But this one is far
               creepier.  Melody is stunned.

                                   STALKER TWO
                         They said it couldn't be done. 
                         They said I'd never be able to get
                         this close to you.

               Melody tries to recompose herself.

                                   MELODY
                         Oh, I see.  Twins.  Twins who like
                         to play pranks.  Well, I don't
                         think it's very funny.

                                   STALKER TWO
                         Close enough to touch you ..

               Stalker Two reaches out a hand and pokes Melody creepily. 
               She SWATS AWAY his hand.

                                   MELODY
                         Don't do that.

                                   STALKER ONE
                         Yeah, hands off!

               For the first time, Stalker Two notices the presence of
               Stalker One.

                                   STALKER TWO
                         What are you doing here?

                                   STALKER ONE
                         I was just about to ask you the
                         same thing.

               While the two face off, Melody tries to slip out from between
               them, but heads right into ... A THIRD STALKER!

                                   STALKER THREE
                         Oh, it's you!  That was easier than
                         I thought.

               Melody looks at all three of the IDENTICAL Stalkers,
               terrified.  Suddenly the third Stalker grabs Melody gently.

                                   STALKER THREE
                         Now that I've finally got you, I'm
                         never going to let you go.

               Melody PUSHES Stalker Three HARD, and he falls down.  She
               makes a break for it.

                                   STALKER TWO
                         Hey, get back here!

                                   STALKER ONE
                         Stop!  You can't run away.

               The three Stalkers chase after Melody as she runs out of
               sight.



               EXT. UNDER ART BUILDING BRIDGE - DAY

               Melody tears into frame, running as fast as she can.  She's
               heading for the space under the bridge overhead.  And she's
               still pursued by the three stalkers.

               Melody is mostly looking behind her at her pursuers, but as
               she enters the space under the bridge, she looks forward ...
               and stops dead in her tracks.

               In front of her are THREE MORE STALKERS!  Each identical to
               the first.  Melody recoils, and the three pursuing her
               quickly catch up.  Soon she is surrounded.

                                   STALKER FOUR
                         How could this be?  How could this
                         have happened?

                                   STALKER FIVE
                         It's simple.  I can't believe I
                         didn't think of this outcome.

                                   STALKER SIX
                         I should have foreseen this. 
                         Stupid!  Stupid!  Stupid!

               Stalker Six slams his hand into his head.

               Melody just looks around her.  The Stalkers all look at each
               other.

                                   MELODY
                         Wh ... who are you?  What's going
                         on?

                                   STALKER THREE
                         Oh, she's so cute when she's
                         confused!

                                   MELODY
                         What do you want?

                                   STALKER ONE
                         I just wanted to see you.

                                   STALKER FIVE
                         The question is, how do we resolve
                         this situation?

                                   STALKER TWO
                         It's very simple.  We'll just take
                         turns.

               The very creepy Stalker Two walks up to Melody, licking his
               lips.  He lays a hand on her.

               In a second that hand is BROKEN by an Aikido twist.  Melody
               has launched into action!  She KICKS Stalker Two away from
               her.

               Another Stalker approaches Melody, and before we can tell if
               he's violent or friendly, she used an Aikido THROW to send
               him to the ground.  As another gets close, she lays him out
               with a JAB to the face.

               The Stalkers aren't very good fighters, are disorganized, and
               aren't all trying to attack Melody, so she beats them away
               from her with a flourish.  Once all are down, she runs like
               hell.

               The Stalkers slowly get up, shouting after Melody, and chase
               her.



               EXT. OUTSIDE STADIUM - DAY

               CHASE and WYATT are walking around, intently looking at the
               ground.

               Suddenly, Chase finds something.

                                   CHASE
                         Ah ha!

                                   WYATT
                         What?

                                   CHASE
                         I found something!

               Wyatt looks down at Chase's findings.

                                   WYATT
                         Those are rabbit tracks.

                                   CHASE
                         Yes.  And I found them.

                                   WYATT
                         Do you even know what we're looking
                         for?

                                   CHASE
                         Can I say "rabbit tracks"?

                                   WYATT
                         You know all those cougar sightings
                         on campus lately?

                                   CHASE
                         Oh ... we're looking for a cougar?

                                   WYATT
                         No.  The sightings only happen
                         around the full moon, so Vivyanne
                         thinks we're dealing with something
                         else.

                                   CHASE
                         We're looking for ... a were
                         cougar?

                                   WYATT
                         We're looking for evidence of one. 
                         Like footprints.

                                   CHASE
                         But how do we know what they look -

               Wyatt hands Chase a piece of paper.

                                   CHASE
                         Oh.

               Chase goes back to looking around.

                                   CHASE
                         We're not going to find any are we?

                                   WYATT
                         No.  It's a complete waste of time. 
                         There's much better things that I
                         ... that we could be doing.

                                   CHASE
                         But if Vivyanne thinks it's
                         important ...

                                   WYATT
                         Vivyanne isn't always right.  You
                         visited Katie at the hospital this
                         morning, right?

                                   CHASE
                         Yeah.

                                   WYATT
                         How is she?

                                   CHASE
                         Better than yesterday.  She's gonna
                         try to give the docs the slip and
                         sneak out this afternoon.  

                                   WYATT
                         That's good to hear.  We can't
                         afford to have her out of action
                         for long.

                                   CHASE
                         Wow.  That almost sounded like a
                         compliment.

                                   WYATT
                         Did it?  I just meant that with
                         recruits like you, we need all the
                         help we can get.

                                   CHASE
                         I never would have guessed you
                         thought so highly of her.

                                   WYATT
                         I just accept the fact that Katie
                         can take care of herself.  She
                         doesn't need a bunch of coddling. 
                         Not every woman turns into a damsel
                         in distress when the action starts.

                                   MELODY (O.S.)
                         HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!

               Melody is screaming and running towards Chase and Wyatt from
               across the street.  She reaches them and stops, panting.

                                   MELODY
                         Thank heaven I ran into you guys.

                                   CHASE
                         Hey Melody.  What's wrong?

                                   MELODY
                         What's wrong?  That's what's wrong!

               Melody points, and we can see that SIX STALKERS are still
               following her.  They slow their approach when they catch
               sight of Chase and Wyatt.

                                   WYATT
                         What the hell?

                                   MELODY
                         They've been chasing me.  I have no
                         idea what they want, but I don't
                         think it's good.  They tried to
                         hurt me.

                                   CHASE
                         How rude.

                                   WYATT
                         Being chased by sociopathic
                         sextuplets is a little odd.  But
                         they must be morons to attack a
                         SAVE member in broad daylight.

               Wyatt rolls up his sleeves.

                                   WYATT
                         Don't worry Melody, this'll be over
                         soon.  Chase ...

               Wyatt holds out his fist so Chase can touch it with his fist,
               which he does.  The two go through their pre-fight warm-ups. 
               Melody also gets into a fighting pose, but notices something.

                                   MELODY
                         Guys ...

               They all turn to look as another LARGE GROUP of Stalkers
               appears to their left.  They look to their right and yet
               ANOTHER LARGE GROUP of Stalkers has come upon them.

               Chase starts counting with his fingers.  Wyatt looks grim.

               The army of Stalkers starts to advance.

                                   MELODY
                         Guys ...

                                   CHASE
                         Wait, I lost count, I have to start
                         over.

                                   MELODY
                         Guys ...

                                   WYATT
                         Alright you - clones, or whatever
                         the you are.  You've got a choice. 
                         You could turn and walk away right
                         now.  But if you want her ...
                         you're gonna have to go through us.

               The Stalkers look at each other, then start screaming as they
               charge our heroes.

               There are at least TWENTY OF THEM.

                                   WYATT
                         Wrong choice.

               The charge of the Stalkers breaks on the SAVE members like
               waves on the shore.  Chase, Wyatt, and Melody fight back to
               back, and begin BEATING THE HELL OUT OF THE STALKERS.

               Wave after wave of Stalkers attack each of our heroes, and
               all fall to the increasingly devastating attacks that they
               throw out.  The Stalkers aren't particularly good fighters,
               and the SAVE members exploit this.

               Melody continues to break them, and throw them to the ground,
               even TOSSING ONE INTO TWO OF HIS COMRADES.

               Wyatt simply uses his superior strength to crush each an
               every Stalker that comes his way.  He shrugs off the few
               blows that do hit him.

               As for Chase, he allows his inept attackers to trip over each
               other, accidentally strike one another, and generally fall
               prey to his agility and resist-less combat style.

               One of the Stalkers actually lands a quite impressive strike
               on Chase.

                                   CHASE
                         Watch out, some of them actually
                         know how to fight.

                                   WYATT
                         If you say so.

               The entire battle is somewhat of a blur, as the SAVE members
               seem to endlessly fight.

               Eventually, only two remain standing, and Chase finishes them
               off with a very pretty kick.

               Something catches his attention ... a LETTER sticking out of
               the pocket of one of the Stalkers.  He takes it out looks at
               it strangely, then pockets it.

               Wyatt drops a Stalker he has pummeled into unconsciousness.

               The SAVE members survey the battlefield.  In every direction,
               there are numerous unconscious bodies.  Wyatt, Chase, and
               Melody themselves are extremely worn out, and a little
               bruised.

                                   WYATT
                         Is that it?  That wasn't so bad.

               The heroes gloat for a moment.  Then they hear something. 
               They look up, toward the Campanile, but we do not see what
               they see.  We only see the terror in their faces.



               INT. SAVE HQ - DAY

               Vivyanne sits at her desk, working on something.  She too
               hears something far off in the distance.

               She gets up, and goes out of the door onto the BALCONY.  She
               looks over the ledge out at the hill beneath the Campanile. 

               Again, we do not see what she sees, but we do see her face
               fall.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Oh my god.



               EXT. OUTSIDE STADIUM - DAY

               Back to the faces of Wyatt, Chase, and Melody.  This time
               they do not need to confer.  They simply start running.

               Now we finally get a glimpse of what they were looking at. 
               Charging down the hill beneath the Campanile are more of the
               Stalkers.  HUNDREDS MORE.  They pour down the hill like
               locusts.



               EXT. SAVE HQ BALCONY - DAY

               Vivyanne sees the same thing happening, from a different
               angle.  The Stalkers now number in the hundreds.

               Vivyanne gets a stern look on her face, and goes back inside.



               EXT. OUTSIDE STADIUM - DAY

               The heroes run like crazy.

               As Wyatt hits a certain point on the pavement he stops. 
               There is a MANHOLE by his feet.

                                   WYATT
                         C'mon!  This way.

               Wyatt pulls the MANHOLE COVER off, and gestures for Chase and
               Melody to go down.  They do, and Wyatt pulls the manhole
               cover back on.

               A group of Stalkers walks right by the MANHOLE, and moves on,
               with no idea where the heroes have gone.



               INT. TUNNELS - DAY

               Wyatt, Chase, and Melody are huddled in dark, dank, utility
               tunnels.  Wyatt pulls out a ROAD FLARE and lights it, bathing
               the tunnel in eerie light.

                                   CHASE
                         Do you always carry one of those?

                                   WYATT
                         Of course.

                                   MELODY
                         Where are we?

                                   WYATT
                         A utility tunnel.  Tunnels like
                         this house power lines and steam
                         pipes.  They form an underground
                         network beneath all the buildings. 
                         We should be able to reach anywhere
                         on campus from here ... as long as
                         those freaks don't know about them.

                                   MELODY
                         The question is, where do we go? 
                         It seems those ... people are
                         everywhere.

                                   CHASE
                         Well, first we need to go to HQ.

                                   WYATT
                         Isn't that a little predictable?

                                   CHASE
                         Well, one of them had a letter for
                         Vivyanne on him.

               Chase holds up the LETTER.

                                   WYATT
                         What?  How do you know it's for our
                         Vivyanne?

                                   CHASE
                         Who else spells "Vivyanne" with a
                         "Y"?

               Chase shows the LETTER.  Sure enough, it's addressed to
               "VIVYANNE".

                                   WYATT
                         Fair enough.

                                   MELODY
                         But why would one of them have a
                         letter for her?

                                   CHASE
                         Don't know.  Guess we have to get
                         her the letter to find out.

                                   WYATT
                         Let's go, then.

               Wyatt, Chase, and Melody walk down the long, dark tunnel.



               INT. SAVE HQ - DAY

               VIVYANNE is perched in front of the COMPUTER, looking at
               footage from security cameras around campus.

               Each camera she cycles through shows the same image ... areas
               filled with the infinite Stalkers.  Her STAFF is nearby.

               Suddenly, Wyatt, Chase, and Melody burst through the door.

               Vivyanne grabs her STAFF and whirls around, ready to strike.

                                   MELODY
                         It's us, Vivyanne.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Oh, good.  I'm glad to see you're
                         safe.  I've sealed off the Union,
                         so for the moment we should all
                         stay that way.  Do any of you have
                         an idea of what's going on?

                                   MELODY
                         I'm afraid it has something to do
                         with me, but I'm not quite sure
                         what.

                                   WYATT
                         Those guys are all hunting for
                         Melody, here.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         How strange.

                                   CHASE
                         What's weirder is that one of them
                         had a letter on him ... a letter
                         for you.

               Chase hands Vivyanne the LETTER.  She opens it, and reads it
               carefully, sitting down as she does so.  Once she's done she
               BURNS THE LETTER.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Oh dear.

                                   MELODY
                         What is it?  What's happening?

                                   VIVYANNE
                         This ... is going to take a little
                         while to explain.  Have a seat.

               Vivyanne walks over to the BOARD, and picks up a MARKER.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Where to begin?  Melody.  We all
                         know you're quite the talented
                         musician.

                                   MELODY
                         Thank you.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         But it appears that you're even
                         more talented than we thought. 
                         Someday you're going to be a very
                         popular performer, with music that
                         is extremely influential.

                                   WYATT
                         What makes you say that?  No
                         offense, Melody.

                                   MELODY
                         None taken.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Please, let me finish.  You'll have
                         many fans, but one will have such a
                         desire to see you in person, that
                         he will be willing to do anything. 
                         Unable to reach you at the time
                         when you're a world-famous star, he
                         will try to get to you the only
                         time he can ... in the past.

               During this, Vivyanne draws a line.  At the left most end is
               the number "2004" and the word "Melody".  At the far right
               end is the number "20??" and the word "Stalker".  She draws
               an curved arrow from "Stalker" to "Melody".

                                   CHASE
                         Huh?

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Using technology derived from
                         Professor Intron's studies, he will
                         create a time machine powerful
                         enough to send him back to this
                         time, where he can finally meet his
                         favorite singer.

                                   MELODY
                         Oh my.  That would explain some of
                         the things he said.  But that would
                         still mean only one Stalker should
                         be after me.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         There's a problem with this
                         scenario. 
                         From his point of view, there is
                         only one past for him to return to. 
                         But from ours, there are an
                         infinite number of futures.  And in
                         a portion of them, also infinite in
                         number, this young man decides to
                         come back in time.

               Vivyanne draws many forks in the timeline, each with an "S"
               at the end of them.  She draws many curved arrows from these
               "S" points to "Melody".

                                   WYATT
                         Meaning that there could be an
                         infinite number of Stalkers on
                         their way here.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Yes, all from slightly different
                         versions of the future.

                                   CHASE
                         Whoa.

                                   WYATT
                         Which means slightly different
                         versions of the stalker ... that
                         would explain the differences we've
                         observed in them physically.

                                   MELODY
                         And in temperament ... some are
                         violent, but some even seemed nice.

                                   WYATT
                         Yeah, nice enough to try and kill
                         us.  If all that information came
                         in that letter, how do you know you
                         can trust it?

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Because the letter was planted on
                         the Stalker right before he entered
                         the time machine ... by a young man
                         I knew in college who went on to
                         become an eminent physicist.

                                   WYATT
                         Huh.  I always knew I would make it
                         big but ...

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Actually, in this version of the
                         future, Chase is the world-famous
                         scientist.

                                   CHASE
                         Whoo-hoo!

                                   WYATT
                         Well, now I really trust the
                         letter.

                                   CHASE
                         I must have just told Vivyanne
                         something that only a future Chase
                         could know, right?

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Something like that.

                                   CHASE
                         What was it?

               Vivyanne doesn't respond.  Chase looks at the burned letter.

                                   CHASE
                         Oh.  Okay.

                                   VIVYANNE
                         Now we haven't got much time.  The
                         number of these stalkers is
                         increasing exponentially. 
                         According to the letter this is
                         going to cause a catastrophic rip
                         in space-time, which would destroy
                         our universe.

                                   MELODY
                         Then ... do we have to go to the
                         future to stop him from coming
                         back?

                                   VIVYANNE
                         No.  The letter says all we have to
                         do is destroy Professor Intron's
                         equipment and research at his lab. 
                         Then the stalker will never be able
                         to build his machine, and he'll
                         simply disappear from our present.

                                   MELODY
                         But with those Stalkers everywhere,
                         how do we get to the lab?

               Chase looks around for a second.

                                   CHASE
                         Hey ... has anybody seen Dyson?